Note: This is long...very long...you may want to take a bathroom break before you begin. Otherwise...
I think this started when Amp asked about John Patrick Lodder's title in the
alt.stoopditytty newsfroup...
Subject: Re: Albania (was Re: Amerika)
From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Date: 8 Oct 1997 02:17:07 -0500
In article <3439742e.11802443@news.iol.ie>, amp
wrote:
>It was 4 Oct 1997 02:54:36 GMT when wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) writed:
>>In article <34357043.1478859@news.iol.ie>, adamj@iol.ieYOURBRAIN! (amp)
writes:
>>>It was 2 Oct 1997 21:31:12 -0500 when jlodder@xochi.tezcat.com (John
Lodder)
>>>writed:
>> \|/
>> -POP- Hi!
>> /|\
>>>> I suppose I could exist, but there again, I *am* an illusion.
>> [Bill digs up moldering old post]
>> =======================================================
>| From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
>| Subject: STOOPIDITY Archives 1 Re: Cool People On Alt.Stupidity
>| Date: 23 Feb 1995 20:24:57 -0600
>|In article ,
>|Nosy wrote:
>|> Hey, Henry Churchyard was around when Spatula hadn't come
>|> out of the utensil drawer yet; Churchy prolly even remembers
>|> the great "bunny vs. toaster" debate.
>| Here's a bunch of old junk of mine I found on some floppy:
> Did you snip that? Did that snip contain what the bunny vs toaster
> debate was all about? AAAAAAAAAAGGRRRRGGGRGRGRGRGHHHH!!!
I'm not sure I remember a great toaster vs. bunny war; it could have
happened before about May 1991, when first I started reading the
group, but my memories of the early days are a little vague (and I
don't want to go through all my old floppies with .ZOO archives on
them to check -- ZIP for Unix didn't yet exist back then); and I only
saved a few of the messages that happened to seem striking at the
time, anyway. But here's some stuff from the pre-Dejanews days that I
did manage to dig up without too much looking:
===============================================================================
From: gmoriart@krypton.helios.nd.edu (Keylime)
Subject: Disco Is Making a Comeback!!!
Date: 30 Jan 1995 17:31:23 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <3gj7pb$pj6@news.nd.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: krypton.helios.nd.edu
Organization: University of Weinerschneitzel
My dear stupid friends,
I can't live with the lie anymore. I'm really not as stupid as I'm
cracked up to be. It is all just a facade, an act I put on so that
I could join this exclusive gang.
I DO know how to turn on my computer by myself. I DO know that
rubbing alcohol isn't for consumption. And I, *sob* *sob*, do
know how to... program my vcr. OH PLEEEEZ! PLEEEZ DON'T KICK ME
OUT OF THIS GROUP. I MEAN FROUP! I'll do anything you ask! I'll
shine your shoes with shinola. I'll eat bacon until I barf. Just
have mercy on my soul. I still don't know how to find the inverse
of a complex Hamiltonian vector space. Honest I don't! Well, at
least not without using Bessel's theorem. FORGIVE ME, I BEG YOU!
You are my dearest friends and I don't want to be shut out in the
cold cold darkness that they call USEnet. People in other newsfroups
wouldn't understand me like you guys do. They'd laugh and point
fingers.
Oh, I have betrayed your trust. *boo hoo*
From: churchyh@sleepy.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: This group is STUPID
Date: 27 Jul 1994 18:30:15 -0500
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas
Message-ID: <316qm7$dpj@sleepy.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: sleepy.cc.utexas.edu
In article <31213t$80v@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
Laura Zurawski wrote:
>Check, please.
>--L.
It's in the mail! Oh, no, here it is --
_______________________________________________________________________
| |
| Ministry of Silly walks July 31 1994 |
| 11 Downing Street |
| London EC97 |
| |
| |
| Payable to:_____Laura_Juniper_Zurawski_________________________ |
| |
| Amount:_Square_root_of_negative_one_dollars_and_00/00_cents____ |
| |
|_______________________________________________________________________|
From: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Matthew MacIntyre)
Subject: Re: The Taste of Stupidity
Date: 24 Jan 1995 05:37:51 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: National University of Singapore
Message-ID: <3g23nf$132@nuscc.nus.sg>
NNTP-Posting-Host: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg
Vikram Kumar Khare (vkhare@tiger.lsu.edu) wrote:
: chomp..chomp...tastes like chicken
Dear Mr Khare,
It is my melancholy duty to inform you that you are altogether insane.
Allow me to take this opportunity to assure your worship of my continuing
esteem.
I remain,
your humble servant,
From: gmoriart@maimonides.helios.nd.edu (Keylime)
Subject: Re: Gravity and You.
Date: 23 Jan 1995 19:17:55 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: University of North Dakota
Message-ID: <3g0vd3$i2h@news.nd.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: maimonides.helios.nd.edu
Ed Jackson (ejackson@iastate.edu) grew some corn and then spoke:
>Did you ever pick up the newspaper and find that it was
>printed upside down? This happenned to me just this
>morning. When I called the paper to complain, I
>couldn't understand what the lady was saying, because
>she was talking backwards. What should I do?
Due to your superior stupidity, the higher-ups of this honorable
newsfroup have nominated you as alt.stupidity's Bonehead of the
Month. As an award, you receive an official Bone Head T-shirt and
a bone for your head. Congratulations!
_ %%%%%%%%%%% _
( \____/ \____/ )
> ____> ^ ^ <____ <
(_/ | * * | \_)
@ \ @
| |
\ --- /
\__ __/ <---- Ed
___\___/___
/ \
/ \
| | I'm A | \
| | Bone | |
| | Head | |
\ | | /
\ | | /
\|========|/
| |
| _ |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|__ | |__|
/__\ /__\
P.S. Flip your phone upside down. This will solve the problem. I don't
know what's wrong with your newspaper though.
From: semy@msg.ti.com (The .44 Magnum Doughnut)
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 1995 15:13:23
Subject: Re: The Question: Part II
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: Texas Instruments
Message-ID:
NNTP-Posting-Host: schultz.mem.ti.com
In article Anon writes:
>From: Anon
>Subject: The Question: Part II
>Date: Mon, 20 Feb 1995 16:25:12 GMT
>Fact 1: A cat always lands on it's feet.
>Fact 2: A piece of bread with jelly on it always lands jelly-side down.
>Question: If I tied a piece of bread, with jelly on it, to the back of a
> cat, and then dropped them, what would happen?
A time/space temporal displacement that could rip the very fabric of
the universe into little bitty pieces of bacon, or you'll just piss off the
cat...
"....the verbal hydra...."
".....the most abusive person on the 'Net."
semy@msg.ti.com
From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Date: 23 Feb 1995 11:02:07 -0600
Subject: Re: The Question: Part II
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Message-ID: <3iif2f$idd@curly.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: curly.cc.utexas.edu
In article <3iajs2$h06@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
Laura Zurawski wrote:
>Anon writes:
>>Fact 1: A cat always lands on it's feet.
>>Fact 2: A piece of bread with jelly on it always lands jelly-side down.
>>Question: If I tied a piece of bread, with jelly on it, to the back of a
>> cat, and then dropped them, what would happen?
>I'm afraid we'd have to shoot you.
This calls for some HAIKU:
Stupid conundrum
Cruel Juniper blase'
Laura shoots soy gun
Thank you, thank you.
You can wipe the tears from the corner of your eyes now...
From: churchyh@sylvester.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Re: What to name that bacon sandwich
Date: Fri Oct 07 19:12:38 CDT 1994
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,alt.non.sequitur
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
In article <371qdb$9j9@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
Laura Zurawski wrote:
>cabbage writes:
>
>>Wilber...
>
>What does it mean? SOmething that is more Wilb than the next?
^^
So, Laura, who is your SO? Not someone sour, somber, and solemn --
a soporific source of sophistries -- a sordid sorehead who is so-so,
a sonorous son of the South who sometimes leaves his soiled soggy
socks somewhere around your room, and who makes you sob sorrowfully
on your sofa in solitude when the S.O.B. commits the solecism of
going on a sortie with a soused sorority girl. But rather someone
sophisticated with some soul -- sober-sounding, social, soothing,
solid, and soft-hearted -- who won't soon make you sorry you're not
solo, who shows solicitude for you, and somehow helps you solve and
sort though some of your problems, who solaces your sorrows, and
with whom you can soar. At least I hope SO!
--%!PS-Adobe
/M{rmoveto}def/R{rlineto}def 10 10 scale 2/Times-Roman findfont 2 scalefont
setfont 12 45 moveto 0 5 R 4 -1 M 5.5 0 R/C{currentpoint}def C 3 sub 3 90 0
arcn 0 -6 R 7.54 10.28 M 2.7067 -9.28 R -5.6333 0 R 9.8867 8 M 7 0 R%Shalom
setlinewidth 0 -9 R -6 4 M 0 -4 R -31 -5 M C stroke moveto% Austin, Texas
(Henry Churchyard churchyh@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu) show showpage
From: churchyh@sneezy.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,alt.non.sequitur
Subject: Re: What to name that bacon sandwich
Date: 9 Oct 1994 12:22:18 -0500
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Message-ID: <3798sa$1lo@sneezy.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: sneezy.cc.utexas.edu
In article <377iik$cbb@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
one whose sobriquet is Laura Zurawski wrote:
>>By the way, I didn't figure out until after I had posted that I had
>>left out SOY!!!! Let's see...I could add after "soar" above the
>>phrase "and who soaks your soy". That sound OK?
>Actually, my SO is made from soy.
How solipsistic! It somehow sounds like the soothsaying "Soylent
Green". Do you add sodium chloride to your soy souffle'? (Don't
be sore, that was a sophomoric Socratic question, not worth a sou).
I'm sold on somersaults in Sofia, Bulgaria, and I'd write a sonnet and
a Sousa-like sonata about it, except I have to end my soliloquy and get
soapy so as to prepare for a soiree (OK, actually with some somnolent
software -- poor sod!).
From: vkhare@tiger.lsu.edu (Vikram Kumar Khare)
Date: 13 Feb 1995
Subject: Re: Vikhzimswo#kx8's Birthday
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Oxymoron--Noun. An oxymoron is a phrase that contradicts
itself. Example:
Military Intelligence
Bill Wilkinson is thinking.
From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Ode from Soy
Date: Sun Dec 04 22:36:11 CST 1994
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
In article <3bnhke$rue@cabell.vcu.edu>,
Phil D. Ford wrote:
>
>Since some stupids complain of "and bacon" being over excerted in
>it's purpose, how about:
>
>and sausage
[etc.]
You forgot Soy.
Ahoy! This goy boy doesn't want to annoy, or be coy or a killjoy, but
I want to deploy my feelings about soy to the hoi polloi. I take no
joy in soy. Soy is not the real McCoy. Soy is a decoy and a ploy. I
would rather read _Rob_Roy_ or Tolstoy, or see the Bolshoi in Hanoi,
or watch Betazed Troi, or be a cowboy in corduroy, or be a sepoy in
the Raj for the viceroy, than alloy or destroy my gustatory enjoy.
Oy!
From: churchyh@sneezy.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Re: Words of Wisdom for 7/14/94
Date: 16 Jul 1994 12:16:55 -0500
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <3094m7$ena@sneezy.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: sneezy.cc.utexas.edu
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas
In article ,
Laura Zurawski wrote:
>In article , ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
>wrote:
>> > What!?! Murdering innocent soys (a known relative of the Nauga,
>> as in NaugaHide) just for your gustatory pleasure?
>Oh no... don't tell me you're one of those annoying soy-rights people..
What, don't tell me you've never heard John Phillips Soy-sauce's
stirring patriotic anthem "Soys and Stripes Forever"??
-- ____ ___ _ / _ _ ___ _ / _ _ _ ___ _ ____ Henry
.| | | \| | .| \| | | | |
Churchyard--
| | __\ | | __\ | __| | | churchh@
. . __ . . . . . . uts.cc.
. . . . . .
utexas.edu
===============================================================================
From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: STOOPIDITY Archives 2 Re: Cool People On Alt.Stupidity
Date: 23 Feb 1995 20:28:24 -0600
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Message-ID: <3ijg88$dil@curly.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: curly.cc.utexas.edu
Summary: Whatever happened to the "oo" in stoopidity, anyway?
Here's a bunch of other junk I found on some floppy:
<<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>>
From: mccla_d@cs.odu.edu (dennis mcclain-furmanski)
Date: 3 Dec 91 08:26:28 GMT
Subject: Peebliss Franicans
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID:
Organization: Old Dominion University, Norfolk, VA
RMODARR@auvm.american.edu groans and giggles and finally spits out:
> Do fish sweat?
After a good workout, they do. But they take showers afterwards, and use some
deoderant which keeps them incredibly dry. This can be tested by taking
advantage of their love for soap operas. If you plug in a TV and take it in
the water with you, they'll be so excited to see what's on, they'll forego
the
showers and you'll get to see them all sweaty.
Is there some special reason you need to know? Like maybe you've invented a
new fishy kind of underarm deoderant? Because I know they'd love to see it.
They'd also love to have arms to have unders of to put deoderant on.
Or was this one of those trick Zen questions? Like:
What is the sound of one truck hitting a watermelon at high speed, which had
just been dropped off an overpass by siamese cousins?
I like those kinds of questions. But I sure wish they were multiple choice.
Because my other personalities would like to have their own answers. Except
"D" ..... we all hate "D".
===============================================================================
Disclaimer: We demand a complete abscence of solid facts! (Broomfondle,
HHGTTG)
===============================================================================
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: Let's Define A Few Things
Date: 10 Sep 91 23:35:13 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID:
Sender: news@NMSU.Edu
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
In-reply-to: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU's message of 10 Sep 91 00:11:14 GMT
In article <1991Sep10.001114.6547@wpi.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter
Alan Dutton) writes:
> I was trying to come up with a list of items that are genuinely stupid,
Oh, goody! Lemme see yer list...am I on it?
HEY! This is a blank piece of a brown paper bag,
not a list.
That's stooopid.
> and therefore, should be discussed on alt.stupidity.
Hmm. Discussing things that are stoopid on alt.stupiditity
makes sense.....so, is that stooopid or not?
Waitaminute, is this one of those trick questions
that throws some part of my brain (or pink fish)
into an infinite loop?
infinite loop?
infinite loop?
infinite loop?
DING!
ahem. Excuse me.
>This is what I came up with:
> Poetry
Well, let's see. Can I remember any poems from grad school?
Ah. Here's one, by some dead Brit or other....
HALF A LEAGUE, HALF AND HALF, HAFFELUMP, ONWARD!
FORWARD! THE LIGHT-TO-GREY BRIGADE!
CHARGE FOR THE GUNS, HE SAID?
THAT'S STOOOOPID!
Ok, point taken.
Next?
> UNIX
whoami
ataylor
Whyshouldineedacomputertotellmethat
Ok, UNIX had no answer the second question, so it is
indeed stooopid.
> Everything Else
WELL! There you have it!
> As you can see, that is quite a large list.
No, it's a very short list (1, 2, many) although
it contains "many" items.
>There are bound to be exceptions.
ONLY if approved by the combined readership of alt.stupidity;
past, present AND future.
So there, with wombles on top.
(The above w-word brought to you by the Oztralian Word
Exchange Service...I forget what word I had to give them.)
> So I propose compiling a list of things that are NOT stupid and therefore
> should NEVER be discussed in this group, just so we can set a few ground
> rules.
Now THAT is stoopid.....breathtakingly so.
Um, I'll start the list off:
1.Not-everything-else.
Ok, the rest of you take it from here.
> I guess someone would have to come up with a penalty for discussing non-
> stupid things here...
Well, we could force such people to post to alt.stupidity...
no, wait. Force them NOT to post to alt.stupidity..no,
that's not it either.
Email them long, boring excerpts from talk.politics.theory?
> Anyway, reply as you wish.
Oh BOY!
I wish:
for a fire truck
an airplane
a pony
a .....
HEY! COME BACK HERE! I'M NOT EVEN STARTED WITH MY
WISH LIST YET!
> PADjr
Rats, he already signed and got away.
From: larsm@eik.ii.uib.no (Lars Magnus Nordeide)
Subject: Re: 'chickens
Date: 21 Jun 91 13:05:32 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Keywords: chiskcne misknings
Message-ID: <1991Jun21.130532.27809@eik.ii.uib.no>
Organization: Institute of Informatics, University of Bergen, Norway
In article ,
btkuo@remus.rutgers.edu ( Bernie) writes:
|> Ahh.... but two quick questions then.....
|>
|> 1) Why did the chicken cross the road
Because it is much more difficult for the road to cross the chicken.
Actually, is is unbelievably difficult to cross a chicken with a road.
And what should you call the result? A chickroad?
|> 2) Which came first, the chicken or the egg
|>
|> For number two, the answer is obvious, the egg came first, it created
|> the chicken to get more eggs....
I don't think I can agree with you on this. Whoever came first would of
course depend on how they were doing it. I have never heard of such a
competition before. Is it something new that is replacing the
dogfights?
===================================
Lars Magnus Nordeide (director)
Board of insignificance
Hoolabaloo co.
===================================
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu
Subject: Re: stupid or dumb?
Date: 27 May 91 19:19:20 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID:
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
In article <1991May27.124408.19026@cs.utwente.nl>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Project: To build a giant twelve story tall nuclear-powered stainless steel
marine toad (Bufo marinus) and destroy Tokyo while fighting
Godzilla.
Plan:
+--------------------+ 0___0 <-- optical Godzilla sensors
| Giant Death and/or | / . . \ <-- adiabatic air intake
| Glory Toad, Mark I | /\/ \___/ \/\ <-- nuclear powered tongue
+--------------------+ / / \ \ <-- stainless steel exterior
/ \ \_____/ / \ <-- jet powered legs
\ \ \ / / / <-- karate-mode forefeet
(c) 1991 Acme Corp. )))))VV VV((((( <-- shock-absorbing landing pads
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: caugherd@aix.rpi.edu (Daniel S Caugherty)
Subject: 101 Damnations
Date: 18 Sep 91 03:45:04 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Summary: no pink fish, and I own the yellow penguin
Message-ID: <-tnnm_b@rpi.edu>
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy (the Armpit of) NY
A question for anyone who cares to answer: I'm planning on shipping a
large quantity of styrofoam across the country. What should I pack it in?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Caugherty, Graduate Student & Breeder of Penguins, C.S. Dept.,
Rensselaer Polyunsaturated Institute
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sex Kills. Come to Rensselaer and Live Forever." -- a popular campus
T-shirt
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: A Moving Question (Was: 101 Damnations)
Date: 18 Sep 91 18:10:49 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID:
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
> I'm planning on shipping a large quantity of styrofoam across the country.
> What should I pack it in?
Broken glass, of course.
That is, if you mean the styrofoam...if you are
just planning to "pack it in" yourself, that's
a different issue.
From: russ@bu-it.bu.edu (sdlonyeR ssuR)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Ouch!
Message-ID: <90184@bu.edu>
Date: 23 Sep 91 20:42:23 GMT
Organization: ygolonhceT noitamrofnI
?lleH ehT tahW
:sdrowyeK
Lines: 15
Ouch!
!hcuO
Ouch!
!hcuO
Ouch!
!hcuO
Ouch!
!hcuO
Ouch!
!hcuO
STOP IT! !TI POTS
Ouch!
!hcuO
Ouch!
!hcuO
From: murthy@ssd.dl.nec.com (Vasudev Murthy)
Date: 5 Nov 91 16:41:15 GMT
Subject: Stupid People Unite!
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <1991Nov5.164115.3395@ssd.dl.nec.com>
Organization: NEC America, Switching Systems Division
The subject line says it all.
For centuries stupid people in all cultures have been persecuted for no
fault other than the fact that they are stupid. This
discrimination must cease! The talents and work ethic
of stupid people have been derided and ignored for far
too long.
Awake! Arise!
--
Vasudev Murthy Any opinions expressed are strictly
murthy@ssd.dl.nec.com my own and have nothing to do with
(214) 518-5031 NEC America, Inc.
From: cnhasan@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Nirmal Hasan)
Subject: Re: WHOOSH
Date: 12 Sep 91 21:12:09 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,alt.good.news
Message-ID: <1991Sep12.211209.5151@casbah.acns.nwu.edu>
Organization: Academic Computing and Network Services, Evanston, Il.
In article <91255.143822KJR106@psuvm.psu.edu> KJR106@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>WHOOSH!!!! Spread the word!!!...
W H O O S H!!!!
Has the word spread enough?
------Silver Freak
From: gbolcer@javel.ICS.UCI.EDU (Gregory Alan Bolcer)
Subject: This month's question
Date: 18 Sep 91 17:44:56 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <9109181044.aa12023@PARIS.ICS.UCI.EDU>
In order to empirically determine what are the attractive qualities of
pink fish and killer bunnies, I would like to poll each of you as to
what your preferences would be:
Fish Bunny
--------------------------
| | |
Killer | | |
|------------|-----------|
| | |
Pink | | |
--------------------------
By no means, do not let the question limit your answer like they do in
so many tests.
Greg
From: tneeck@mac.cc.macalstr.edu (T. M. Neeck)
Date: 14 Sep 91 19:28:11 GMT
Subject: Re: Porpoise
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <1991Sep14.132811.1079@mac.cc.macalstr.edu>
Organization: Sarcastic B@$+@rd from Heck
In article , spacey@buengf.bu.edu (Eva
Chan) writes:
I> <1991Sep5.120414.28788@uniwa.uwa.oz.au>
> Sender: news@bu.edu
h> Organization: BoingCo - A Subsidiary of fnordCo
i> Lines: 33
d> In-reply-to: guddt@uniwa.uwa.oz.au's message of 5 Sep 91 12:04:14 GMT
e>
>>>>>> On 5 Sep 91 12:04:14 GMT, guddt@uniwa.uwa.oz.au (David Bennett) said:
s> David> bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello) writes:
u>
b>>What is the porpoise of this newsgrp? Hmm?
l> David> To say pink fish nore than once inn any givenm posting to this
group
i> David> bounce.I did it again.
m> David> PINK FISH PINK FISH PINK FISH.
i>
n> David> David.
a> David> [DDT] Pink fish forever.
l> David> --
> David> David Bennett, guddt@uniwa.uwa.oz.au | University Computer Club
m> David> Where Pink fish swim backwards. | c/o Guild of
Undergraduates
e> David> These words I am singing now mean nothing more than meow to an
animal - TMBG
s> David> Disclaimer: Any spelling mistakes in this article are all entirly
my fault. Any grammer errors spotted in this article were put there because
I could.
s>
a> Now... this thing about pink fish keeps on popping up out of no where.
g> Just what in heaven's name is a pink fish? Is that anything like the
e> yellow-bellied, prickly-finned, snorkel-nosed, bubbled-eyed catfish?
s> Please clarify this species of fish if you can. It's much appreciated =)
>
i> *AH-CHOO!!!!!* 'scuse me =)
n>
>
h> NEXT POSTER PLEASE SIGN IN! (or at least do something intelligent)
e>
r> (stooooooopidity is back in session!)
e>
Intelligent? Us?!? Hmm...maybe she's right...maybe I should say
something earthshakingly profound, important, and brilliant. Maybe I should
post my all-inclusive proof of the Grand Unified Theory, the existence of
God,
and the definitive reason why the Democrats will never regain the White
House.
NAAAAAAAAH.
H> --
i> = Eva Chan | I was once a Giant Furry (Killer?) Bunny =
y> = spacey@buengf.bu.edu | but something changed all that.
=
a> = on IRC: bunny | *GUH-RINNNN!* =
!> = | (ok, so i finally have a decent .sig! ;) ) =
--
T. M. Neeck (aka Doctor Stomper)
INTERNET: TNEECK@MACALSTR.EDU
THOUGHT OF THE SEMESTER: It is not true that all forms of torture
are illegal. Universities still give final exams.
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: My screen has #2 pencil marks on it (Was: This month's question)
Date: 19 Sep 91 00:20:43 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID:
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
gbolcer@javel.ICS.UCI.EDU
(Gregory Alan Bolcer) writes:
? In order to empirically determine what are the attractive qualities of
< pink fish and killer bunnies, I would like to poll each of you as to
? what your preferences would be:
? Ghoti Fnord
? --------------------------
? | | |
? Banana | | |
? |------------|-----------|
? | | |
? Dutch | | |
? --------------------------
< By no means, do not let the question limit your answer like they do in
> so many tests.
I filled in the appropriate boxes with my SAT/GRE/M-O-U-S-E
#2 pencil but it doesn't seem to have worked correctly.
From: gbolcer@javel.ICS.UCI.EDU (Gregory Alan Bolcer)
Subject: Re: This month's question
Date: 23 Sep 91 01:34:05 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <9109221833.aa15041@PARIS.ICS.UCI.EDU>
> In article <9109181044.aa12023@PARIS.ICS.UCI.EDU>
gbolcer@javel.ICS.UCI.EDU (Gregory Alan Bolcer) writes:
> > Fish Bunny
> > --------------------------
> > | | |
> > Killer | X | X |
> > |------------|-----------|
> > | X | X |
> > Pink | | |
> > --------------------------
> >
(####)
(#######)
(#########)
(#########)
(#########)
(#########)
__&__ (#########)
/ \ (#########) |\/\/\/| /\ /\ /\ /\
| | (#########) | | | V \/ \---. .----/ \----.
| (o)(o) (o)(o)(##) | | \_ / \ /
C .---_) ,_C (##) | (o)(o) (o)(o) <__. .--\ (o)(o) /__.
| |.___| /____, (##) C _) _C / \ () /
| \__/ \ (#) | ,___| /____, ) \ > (C_) <
/_____\ | | | / \ /----' /___\____/___\
/_____/ \ OOOOOO /____\ ooooo /| |\
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Homer Marge MIKE Lisa Maggie
JOHNSON
From: woodhous@latcs1.lat.oz.au
Subject: Nutrition
Date: 31 May 91 13:04:31 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <1991May31.130431.21437@latcs1.lat.oz.au>
Organization: Comp Sci, La Trobe Uni, Australia
What did the goat say when it ate the canister of cinema film?
The book was better.
Joe.
From: ros0@quads.uchicago.edu (paul erich rosen)
Subject: the awfull truth about Russ...
Date: 2 Jun 91 23:05:52 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <1991Jun2.230552.20482@midway.uchicago.edu>
Organization: University of Chicago
It makes me very sad to have to post this and violate the oath of secrecy
which I gave to Russ, but I can no longer sit back and watch this sharade.
RUSS IS NOT STUPID.
When we were in 6th grade, Russ used to help me with my math homework. He
was pretty good in wood shop too. Russ was always very modest about his
abilities. He was always afraid that if people knew how smart he really was
no one would like him. He hid his genius to avoid being ostracised.
Russ only agreed to help me with my homework if I promised never to tell
anyone his secret. For years I have watched as Russ fooled everyone into
thinking that he was stupid, all the while knowing the awfull truth which
he concealed.
Damnit, Russ, I'm sorry; but the truth had to be told. I just couldn't let
things go on as they were. I just hope that someday you will understand why
I had to do this. Forgive me, Russ.
From: android@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Andy Wilks)
Subject: Re: Stoopid(tm)
Date: 18 Jun 91 21:10:09 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Keywords: bunnies toasters
Message-ID: <50793@ut-emx.uucp>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin
In article <1991Jun18.100253.26947@cs.ruu.nl> jlegtenb@cs.ruu.nl (Jan
Legtenberg) writes:
)Why is alt.stupidity not what it used to be? Where are the discussions about
)(dead) bunnies and toasters? Why doesn't anybody ask where the Yeti lives?
)I only read postings in which people talk about science fiction, and the
)paperbacks they bought recently.
)Let's start a proper stoopid flamewar. Where is the pope of the very far
)north, where is our famous furry (killer) bunny, where is the ninja warrior?
I'll tell you what's happening, Jan. It's all Russ's fault!! NOT only was
he so rich from being overpaid to NOT touch the equipment, that he bought BU,
he also bought InterNet. He has Eva locked in a basement torture chamber in
the basement of the Comp Sci building and he tortures her every day with
videos of bunnies being toasted on big screen TV's.
It is a plot to destroy everything that is really STOOPId (tm). Russ
figures that if he has to be smart then everyone will have to be smart
right along with him. This is a really poor attitude, but we are power-
less to stop him. The only one who can help is the ninja warrior, but
Russ has given him colorised versions of all the kung foo movies ever
made and he is busy watching them all in a hotel room in DesMoines, Iowa.
Look, Russ even cut off the top line of my .sig file!!!
/ (o o) /
* Andy Wilks One of the few .sig's-> /-------\ / *
/ andy@fiskville.mc.utexas.edu with ASCII livestock. / | ||O /
* android@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu * ||,---|| *
/ University of Texas at Austin ^^ ^^ /
* copyright (c) 1934,1942,1961,1990,1991 BEVO *
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
)Please all sign in!
) => JAN <=
)+---------------------+---------------------------------------------------+
)| Jan Legtenberg | email: jlegtenb@cs.ruu.nl (University of Utrecht) |
)| A.G.Noyweg 29 +---------------------------------------------------+
)| 6997 AM Hoog Keppel | I said I know it's only rock'n roll but I like it |
)| The Netherlands | (The Rolling Stones) |
)+---------------------+---------------------------------------------------+
<<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>>
===============================================================================
From: churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: STOOPIDITY Archives 1 Re: Cool People On Alt.Stupidity
Date: 23 Feb 1995 20:24:57 -0600
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Message-ID: <3ijg1p$dph@curly.cc.utexas.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: curly.cc.utexas.edu
Summary: Whatever happened to the "oo" in stoopidity, anyway?
Here's a bunch of old junk of mine I found on some floppy:
<<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>>
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Re: This message intentionally left blank (was Hey! Look here!)
Date: 23 May 91 03:08:57 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <49382@ut-emx.uucp>
References: <2468@winnie.fit.edu> <15233@vpk2.UUCP>
<1991May22.163925.7328@uniwa.uwa.oz>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Summary: this .sig no message
This message intentionally contains 91 ASCII characters before the
beginning of the .sig
--
+---+ _ _ _ _ : Axolotl! +---+
|1 | ' ) ) ) _ , __ ________ ') / : Halvah! |2 |
|H | / ' (_/ (_/_/ (_(_) / / < \/ eeblefester :Sis Boom Ba! |He |
| 1| ......... /..................................:............ | 4|
+---+---+ +---+---+---+---+---+---+
|3 |4 | |5 |6 |7 |8 |9 |10 |
|Li |Be | (< __|~`---, <( |B |C |N |O |F |Ne |
| 7| 9| )> \ _ * | >) | 11| 12| 14| 16| 19| 20|
+---+---+ (< `~ \ / <( +---+---+---+---+---+---+
|11 |12 | )> Austin`-' TX >) |13 |14 |15 |16 |17 |18 |
|Na |Mg | |Al |Si |P |S |Cl |Ar |
| 23| 24| (nice little .sig you have here...) | 27| 28| 31| 32| 35| 40|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|19 |20 |21 |22 |23 |24 |25 |26 |27 |28 |29 |30 |31 |32 |33 |34 |35 |36 |
|K |Ca |Sc |Ti |V |Cr |Mn |Fe |Co |Ni |Cu |Zn |Ga |Ge |As |Se |Br |Kr |
| 39| 40| 45| 48| 51| 52| 55| 56| 59| 59| 64| 65| 70| 73| 75| 79| 80| 84|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|37 |38 |39 |40 |41 |42 |43 |44 |45 |46 |47 |48 |49 |50 |51 |52 |53 |54 |
|Rb |Sr |Y |Zr |Nb |Mo |Tc |Ru |Rh |Pd |Ag |Cd |In |Sn |Sb |Te |I |Xe |
| 85| 88| 89| 91| 93| 96| 99|101|103|106|108|112|115|119|122|128|127|131|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|55 |56 |57 |72 |73 |74 |75 |76 |77 |78 |79 |80 |81 |82 |83 |84 |85 |86 |
|Cs |Ba |La |Hf |Ta |W |Re |Os |Ir |Pt |Au |Hg |Tl |Pb |Bi |Po |At |Rn |
|133|137|139|178|181|184|186|190|192|195|197|201|204|207|209|209|210|222|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|87 |88 |89 |104|105|
|Fr |Ra |Ac |Rf |Ha |
|223|226|227|261|260|
+---+---+---+---+---+
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|58 |59 |60 |61 |62 |63 |64 |65 |66 |67 |68 |69 |70 |71 |
|Ce |Pr |Nd |Pm |Sm |Eu |Gd |Tb |Dy |Ho |Er |Tm |Yb |Lu |
|140|141|144|145|150|152|157|159|162|165|167|169|173|175|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
|90 |91 |92 |93 |94 |95 |96 |97 |98 |99 |100|101|102|103|
|Th |Pa |U |Np |Pu |Am |Cm |Bk |Cf |Es |Fm |Md |No |Lr |
|232|231|238|237|244|243|247|247|251|254|257|256|254|257|
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Framed portrait of stupidity.
Date: 13 Nov 91 02:56:03 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <61716@ut-emx.uucp>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Keywords: StUpId sTuPiD STupID stUPid StuPid sTupId stUpiD STUpid stuPID
###############################################################################
##+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++##
##++|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||++##
##++||\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\||++##
##++||\\///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////\\||++##
##++||\\//::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::://\\||++##
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:://\\||++##
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:://\\||++##
##++||\\//:: @@ @@ @@@@
:://\\||++##
##++||\\//:: @@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@ @@@@@@ @@@@
:://\\||++##
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:://\\||++##
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:://\\||++##
##++||\\//:: @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@
:://\\||++##
##++||\\//:: @@@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@ @@@@@@ @@
:://\\||++##
##++||\\//:: @@
:://\\||++##
##++||\\//::
:://\\||++##
##++||\\//::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::://\\||++##
##++||\\///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////\\||++##
##++||\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\||++##
##++|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||++##
##+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++##
###############################################################################
--
(< __|~`---, <( _ _ _ _ : Axolotl!
)> \ _ * | >) ' ) ) ) _ , __ ________ ') / : Halvah!
(< `~ \ / <( / ' (_/ (_/_/ (_(_) / / < \/ eeblefester :Sis Boom
Ba!
)> Austin`-' TX >) .........
/..................................:............
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Date: 31 May 91 00:37:54 GMT
Subject: Have a nice day!
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <49729@ut-emx.uucp>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Keywords: where are you?
Have a nice day!
..
........................................ : :
: SEA :: : BIS : | ' ., ,. : PWM
:`.......: : MSO BIL:........: |.''.. '..'. .---.- .''
: PDX .' :........: : MSP ':.' :. .. SYR :/ BOS
: : BOI : : PIR :...... MKE : :....... :.:
:.......:......: :'''''''': DSM :---::...-'''': PIT ' JFK
: : : :.... CYS. :.....' : : DAY:......:.:
: : RNO : SLC: :'''''''' MCI : : :....' .' :
: SFO` : : DEN ICT : STL :.-' :..' RIC:
: '. :.....:......:.........:......:'- BNA-'-.'''''''':
:. ': : :''': OKC: :........:-----. .CHS
' LAX: PHX: ABQ: '--....:. LIT : : ATL. .'
'':. : : DFW :---: JAN: MGM ' SAV
'''--.::':''' * '. '.. : ..:.....:
: .. AUS ..:... MSY'''''''-. :
* = I am here '' : SAT .' ''' : :
'. / '. MIA
` . BRO '.'
::::::::::[[:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[::::::::[[:::[[::::[[::::::::::::[[:
::::::::::[[:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[:::::::::[[::::::::::::[[:
:[[[[[::[[[[[[::[[[[[:::[[[[[::[[[[[[:::[[[::::[[[[[[::[[[::[[[[[[:[[:::[[::[[:
[[::::::::[[:::[[:::[[:[[:::[[:[[:::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[::::[[:::[[:::[[::[[:
:[[[[[::::[[:::[[:::[[:[[:::[[:[[:::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[::::[[:::[[:::[[::[[:
:::::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[:[[:::[[:[[[[[[::::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[::::[[::::[[[[[[:::::
:[[[[[::::[[[[::[[[[[:::[[[[[::[[:::::::[[[[:::[[[[[[::[[[[:::[[[[::::::[[::[[:
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[[[[::::::
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: When are you? (30 days hath...)
Date: 20 Jun 91 22:08:45 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <50928@ut-emx.uucp>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Keywords: SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS SMTWTFS
Year-at-a-glance calendar for 1991
+--- January ---+-- February ---+---- March ----|---- April ----+
|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|
| 1 2 3 4 5 | 1 2 | 1 2 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 |
| 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 |
| 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 | 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |
| 7 8 9 0 1 | 4 5 6 7 8 | 415 6 7 8 9 0 | 8 9 0 |
+----- May -----+----- June ----+----- July ----+--- August ----+
|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|
| 1 2 3 4 | 1 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 1 2 3 |
| 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 | 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 |
| 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 | 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |
| 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 | 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 |
| 6 7 8 9 0 1 | 304 5 6 7 8 9 | 8 9 0 1 | 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 |
+-- September --+--- October ---+--- November --+-- December ---+
|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|
| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | 1 2 3 4 5 | 1 2 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |
| 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 | 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 |
| 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 |
| 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 | 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 | 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 |
| 9 0 | 7 8 9 0 1 | 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 | 9 0 1 |
+---------------+---------------+---------------+---------------+
+----- June ----+
|-S-M-T-W-T-F-S-|
| 1 |
| 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 |
| 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
I am here ->| 6 7 8 9 * 1 2 |
| 304 5 6 7 8 9 |
+---------------+
When are you?
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Isn't the latest modern up-to-date technology wonderful?
Message-ID: <47494@ut-emx.uucp>
Date: 19 Apr 91 16:17:46 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Keywords: stupid stupid stupid
Let's put that in another way:
_____________________________________________________________________________
/C ISN'T THE LATEST MODERN TECHNOLOGY WONDERFUL?
|
|] ] ]] ] ] ]] ]]] ] ]] ]
|
| ]] ] ]] ]] ]]]] ]] ] ]
|
| ] ] ] ] ]] ] ] ] ]
|
|111111111111111111
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|
|22222222 222222222222
2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222|
| 3333333333 3 333 3 33 33333333 3 333 333333333333
33333333333333333333333333|
|444444444444444444444444 4 444444444444444444 444
444444444444444444444444444|
|555555555 55555 5555 555555 5 55 55 55555555 5
555555555555555555555555555555|
|6666666666666666666666666 6666666666 6 666 6666
6666666666666666666666666666|
|7777777777 7777777777777777777777777777 77777777777
7777777777777777777777777|
|8888888888 888 8888888888888 88888 88888 888888 888
8888888888888888888888888|
|9999999
999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999|
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
From: churchh@ut-emx.uucp (Henry Churchyard)
Subject: Have some chocolate . . .
Date: 4 Dec 91 11:32:39 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Message-ID: <63095@ut-emx.uucp>
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin; Austin, Texas
Keywords: chocolate Chocolate CHOCOLATE
-OOOOO---OO---------------------------------OOO------------OO--------------OO--
OO---OO--OO----------------------------------OO------------OO-------------OOOO-
OO-------OOOOOO----OOOOO----OOOOO----OOOOO---OO---OOOOO--OOOOOO---OOOOO---OOOO-
OO-------OO---OO--OO---OO--OO---OO--OO---OO--OO-------OO---OO---OOO---OO---OO--
OO-------OO---OO--OO---OO--OO-------OO---OO--OO---OOOOOO---OO---OOOOOOOO---OO--
OO---OO--OO---OO--OO---OO--OO---OO--OO---OO--OO--OO---OO---OO---OOO------------
-OOOOO---OO---OO---OOOOO----OOOOO----OOOOO--OOOO--OOOOOO---OOOO---OOOOO----OO--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:[[[[[:::[[:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[[::::::::::::[[::::::::::::::[[::
[[:::[[::[[::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[[::::::::::::[[:::::::::::::[[[[:
[[:::::::[[[[[[::::[[[[[::::[[[[[::::[[[[[:::[[:::[[[[[::[[[[[[:::[[[[[:::[[[[:
[[:::::::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::::::[[:::[[:::[[[:::[[:::[[::
[[:::::::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::::::[[:::[[::[[:::[[[[[[:::[[:::[[[[[[[[:::[[::
[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[:::[[::[[::[[:::[[:::[[:::[[[::::::::::::
:[[[[[:::[[:::[[:::[[[[[::::[[[[[::::[[[[[::[[[[::[[[[[[:::[[[[:::[[[[[::::[[::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
##+++++###++#################################+++############++#############++##
#++###++##++##################################++############++############++++#
#++#######++++++####+++++####+++++####+++++###++###+++++##++++++###+++++##++++#
#++#######++###++##++###++##++###++##++###++##++#######++###++###+++###++##++##
#++#######++###++##++###++##++#######++###++##++###++++++###++###++++++++##++##
#++###++##++###++##++###++##++###++##++###++##++##++###++###++###+++###########
##+++++###++###++###+++++####+++++####+++++##++++##++++++###++++###+++++###++##
###############################################################################
<<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>><><<>><<>>
--
Henry Churchyard churchh@uts.cc.utexas.edu | *plonk*, noun (onomatopoeic).
The
plaintive cry of a protective framework of ceremony and hoohaah crushed under
the juggernaut of Progress. Loosely translatable as, "We oldbies are driven
to
despair as we are rendered obsolete by the exponential improvements in speed,
quality, and strength of each generation of newbies. Our only consolation is
to afflict these prodigies with hierarchies and insane rituals just as
senility
afflicts us, to hasten their becoming as bitter as we are." -- Jay Paul
Chawla