==================================================================
Keylime had a reputation in alt.stupidity for coming up with some
quick and dirty (but clever) ASCII graphics.  The following shows
that he could also pound a tack with a sledgehammer.
==================================================================

From: spatula@unicorn.dorm.umd.edu (Spatch)
Newsgroups: alt.aol-sucks,alt.stupidity
Subject: NEW SMILEY ALERT
Date: 14 Apr 1995 22:33:30 -0400
Organization: The Law Offices of Feeney and Defazio

*@#!&!@$:)
 
Yes, it's Carmen Miranda.


- spatch, cuanto le gusta le gusta le gusta le gusta le gusta le gusta... -

-- 
tv's Spatch, RATM's wacky next-door neighbour and father of alt.stupidity
"Yeah, but bacon tastes good."  - Morey Amsterdam, "I Married Joan"
"I use nn 'cause rn is too complicated." - John "Gwennis" Mayer
You're so vain, you probably think this .sig is about you.
====================================================

From: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: NEW SMILEY ALERT
Date: 16 Apr 1995 01:03:31 GMT
Organization: Hall of the Mushroom King

spatula@unicorn.dorm.umd.edu (Spatch) wrote:

>*@#!&!@$:)
 
>Yes, it's Carmen Miranda.

            \
            /  ___|
*@#!&!@$:)-<8-<
            \  \
            /   \/

Top THAT, Keylime!

--Bill (what IS the matter with me tonight????)

-- 
I'll tell you tomorrow.
========================================================

From: spatula@unicorn.dorm.umd.edu (Spatch)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: NEW SMILEY ALERT
Date: 16 Apr 1995 08:58:44 -0400
Organization: The Law Offices of Feeney and Defazio

In article <3mpqd3$2qo$2@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>,
Bill Wilkinson  <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
>spatula@unicorn.dorm.umd.edu (Spatch) wrote:
>
>>*@#!&!@$:)
> 
>>Yes, it's Carmen Miranda.
>
>            \
>            /  ___|
>*@#!&!@$:)-<8-<
>            \  \
>            /   \/

Wow, I've been upstaged by Carmen Miranda's chalk outlime.  Er, line.

-- 
tv's Spatch, RATM's wacky next-door neighbour and father of alt.stupidity
"Yeah, but bacon tastes good."  - Morey Amsterdam, "I Married Joan"
"I use nn 'cause rn is too complicated." - John "Gwennis" Mayer
You're so vain, you probably think this .sig is about you.
===============================================================

From: gmoriart@grieg.helios.nd.edu (Keylime)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: NEW SMILEY ALERT
Date: 17 Apr 1995 17:33:31 GMT
Organization: University of Notre Dame

Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> dared me:
>            \
>            /  ___|
>*@#!&!@$:)-<8-<
>            \  \
>            /   \/
>
>Top THAT, Keylime!

    :-)	Willie Shoemaker
 -(	always should wear safety glasses, especially in the laser burn-in room 
!-(	black eye
!-|	"I-am-a-Cylon-Centurian-with-one-red-eye-bouncing-back-and-forth." 
!.'v	(profile) flat top
#-)	partied all night
#:-)	for people whose hair is in a mess, like mine 
#:-o	"Oh, nooooooo!" (a la Mr. Bill) 
#:o+=	Betty Boop
$$	for academic jobs 
$$$	for industrial jobs 
$$$$	for people starting up their own company 
$-)	Alex P. Keaton (from "Family Ties")
%	for bike accidents (a bit far-fetched, I suppose) 
%')	after drinking a fifth for lunch
%*@:-(	hung over
%*}	very drunk 
%+{	lost a fight
%-(I)	laughing out loud
%-)	Elephant man
%-6	braindead
%-<I>	drunk with laughter
%-\	hungover
%-^	Picasso
%-{	sad variation
%-|	been working all night
%-}	humor variation
%-~	Picasso
%\v	Picasso
&-|	tearful
&.(..	crying
&:-)	curly hair
'-)	one eyed man
':-)	accidentally shaved off one of his eyebrows this morning
'~;E	unspecified 4-legged critter
( o ) ( o )	hooters
(-)	needing a haircut
(-:	Australian
(-::-)	Siamese twins
(-:|:-)	Siamese twins
(-E:	wearing bifocals 
(-_-)	secret smile
(-o-)	Imperial Tie Fighter ("Star Wars")
(00)	mooning you
(8-)	wears glasses
(8-o	Mr. Bill
(8-{)}	glasses, moustache and a beard
(:  (=|	wearing a ghost costume
(:)-)	likes to scuba dive
(:+)	big nose
(:-	unsmiley frowning
(:-#	I am smiling and I have braces (watch out for the glare!)
(:-$	ill
(:-&	angry
(:-(	frowning
(:-)	big-face
(:-*	kissing
(:-...	heart-broken
(:-D	blabber mouth
(:-I	egghead
(:-\	VERY sad
(:-{~	bearded
(:-|K-	formally attired
(:<)	blabber mouth
(:=)	TWO noses (?)
(:>-<	thief: hands up!
(:I	egghead
(:^(	broken nose
(@ @)	You're kidding!
(O--<	fishy
(V)=|	pacman champion
([(	Robocop
(}-8]	left-handed bearded smiley with glasses and headphones 
)	Cheshire cat
)8-)	scuba smiley big-face
):-(	unsmiley big-face
):-)	smiley big-face
*!#*!^*&:-)	a schizophrenic
**	for winter sports generally 
*-(	Cyclops got poked in the eye
*-)	shot dead
*8-)	Beaker (the Muppet lab assistant) 
*:*	fuzzy
*:**	fuzzy with a fuzzy mustache
*:o)	Bozo the Clown
*<.'v	(profile) wearing snow cap
*<8-)X	party outfit with hat and bow-tie 
*<:-)	Santa Claus
*<|:-)	Santa Claus (Ho Ho Ho)
*<|:-))	Santa Claus
*L*	blotto
*|	for oh what a beautiful sunset 
+-(:-)	Religious leader
+-:-)	priest
+:-)	priest
+<.'v	(profile) knight
+<:-)	"Peace be upon you, my children..." 
+<:-|	monk/nun
+<||-)	knight
+O:-)	the Pope
,-)	one eye ... and winking
,-}	wry and winking
,.'v	(profile) has short hair
,:-)	shaved his left eyebrow off this morning
-	Helen Keller
-  @=	messages about nuclear war
- -:-(	punk rocker (real punk rockers don't smile) (alternate version)
- -:-)	punk rocker (alternate version)
-)	Jose Feliciano
---...	SOS (variant)
---...---	SOS (really OSO, but retained anyway)
-:-(	punk rocker (real punk rockers don't smile)
-:-)	has mohawk
-=	a doused candle (to end a flame)
-=#:-)	wizard
->-	for airline tickets going cheap 
->=:-)X	Zippy the Pinhead 
.'!	(profile) grim
.'"	(profile) pursing lips
.'J	(profile) smiling
.'P	(profile) sticking tongue out
.'T	(profile) keeping a straight face
.'U	(profile) yawning
.'V	(profile) shouting
.'Y	(profile) whistling
.'\	(profile) frowning
.'r	(profile) sticking tongue out
.'v	(profile) talking
.'w	(profile) speaking with forked tongue
.-(	always should wear safety glasses 
.-)	Sammy Davis, Jr.
.-]	one eye
...---...	SOS
.\/	duck variation
.^v	(profile) pointy nose
._)	suffering from Lorentz contraction (they're coming every ten minutes now)
/8^{~	hair line, glasses, moustache, and goatee 
/:-|	Mr. Spock
/;-)	has one big thick cockeyed eyebrow 
/\	for camping and backpacking 
0-(	scuba diver with a broken mask
0-)	Cyclops
0:-)	angel 
2B|^2B	message about Shakespeare
3   :-)	Bart Simpson 
3:*>	Rudolph the reindeer
3:-o	cow
3:[	mean pet smiley
3:]	pet smiley
3:o[	net.pets
4:-)	George Washington
5:-)	Elvis Presley
6\/)	elephant
7:)	Ronald Reagan
7:-)	Fred Flintstone
7:^]	Ronald Reagan
8	infinity
8 :-)	wizard
8 :-I	net.unix-wizards
8(:-)	Mousketeer
8)	frog
8*)	glasses and a moustache 
8-#	death
8-)	excited
8-*	just ate a hot pepper
8-O	"Omigod!!" (done after "rm -rf *" ?)
8-O  --*	just before doubling over with pain 
8-P	reaction to College Cafeteria Coffee 
8-]	"wow, maaan"
8-o	Mr. Bill
8-|	eyes wide with surprise
8:)	pig 
8:-)	glasses on forehead
8:]	gorilla
8=:-)	Galloping Gourmet
8===>	dickhead
8P	bullfrog in mating season
8^	chicken 
8_)	don't get your nose out of joint 
8b	bullfrog in mating season
: )	leper
:###)	Jimmy Durante
:$)	Donald Trump
:%)	an accountant
:%)%	has acne
:'-(	crying
:'-)	crying with happiness
:'O	Bob Hope 
:'}	Richard Nixon 
:(	sad
:)	cheshire cat smile
:*	kisses
:*)	Ed McMahon
:+(	punched nose, hurt
:+)	Carl Friedrich Gauss 
:,(	crying
:-	male
:-!	bland face
:-"	heavy smoker
:-#	braces
:-#|	bushy mustache
:-$	mouth wired shut
:-%	banker
:-&	tongue-tied
:-'	smoker
:-'|	has a cold
:-(	Drama
:-(  )	You backed your car over my toe
:-(  :-	impotent (or let down) 
:-( )	You stepped on my toe
:-()	I stubbed my toe
:-(*)	sick of netnews articles, about to vomit
:-(0)	yelling
:-(=)	big teeth
:-(O)	yelling
:-)	Comedy
:-)   ,	outie belly button
:-)   .	innie belly button
:-)   8	Dolly Parton
:-)   <	slut
:-)   <  ...  :-)   <  ...  :-)   <  ...	nymphomaniac
:-)   >	celibate
:-)  -8	blue balls 
:-)  -:	smiley with an erection 
:-)  -^-:	in need of some corrective surgery 
:-)  :-...	taking a leak 
:-) )-:	masking theatrical comments
:-) ---	John Holmes
:-) ... :-( ... :-) ... :-( ...	manic depressive
:-) 8  -	female 
:-) :-) :-)	loud guffaw
:-)!!!	Sam Kinnison
:-)'	drooling
:-))	double chin
:-)))	William Conrad
:-)--	98-pound weakling
:-)-8	big girl
:-)-O	smiling doctor with stethoscope
:-)-{8	big girl
:-)-}8	big girl
:-)8	man with bowtie
:-)==	Arnold Schwarzenegger
:-)X	wearing a bowtie
:-)}	has goatee/beard
:-)~	drooling
:-*	Oops!
:-,	"Hmmmm."
:--)	Jamie Farr (Klinger from M*A*S*H)
:------------)	big liar
:-/	lefty undecided smiley
:-0	No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-1	bland face
:-6	after eating something sour
:-7	smiley after a wry statement
:-8	talking out both sides of your mouth
:-8(	condescending stare
:-9	licking its lips
:-:	mutant
:-<	frowning
:-=)	Adolph Hitler
:->	biting sarcastic face
:->X==|	smiley formalware 
:-?	smiley smoking a pipe
:-@	"I swear"
:-B	drooling
:-C	just totally unbelieving
:-D	big smile
:-E	bucktoothed vampire
:-F	bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-G-	smoking cigarettes
:-I	hmm
:-J	tongue-in-cheek comments
:-M	speaking no evil
:-O	Mr. Bill
:-O>-o	smiley American tourist (note big mouth and camera)
:-P	Nyahhhh!
:-Q	smoker
:-Q~	smoking
:-R	has the flu
:-S	just made an incoherent statement
:-T	keeping a straight face
:-V	shouting
:-W	speak with forked tongue
:-X	A big wet kiss!
:-Y	a quiet aside
:-[	biting criticism
:-\	Popeye
:-\  8o	after a cold shower 
:-]	biting sarcasm
:-`	smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
:-a	lefty smiley touching tongue to nose
:-b	left-pointing tongue
:-c	bummed out
:-d	lefty smiley razzing you
:-d~	smokes heavily
:-e	disappointed
:-f	sticking tongue out
:-i	semi-smiley
:-j	left smiling
:-k	beats me, looks like something, tho
:-l	y.a.s.
:-o	"Oh, nooooooo!" (a la Mr. Bill) 
:-o  ^^^^:	after zipping up fly too fast 
:-p	smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
:-p~	smokes heavily
:-q	smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
:-r	sticking tongue out
:-s	after a BIZARRE comment
:-t	cross smiley
:-v	speaking
:-w	speak with forked tongue
:-x	"my lips are sealed"
:-y	said with a smile
:-z	y.a.s.
:-{	mustache
:-{  -__-:	after slamming the toilet seat 
:-{#}	messages teasing people about their braces
:-{)	moustache
:-{}	heavy lipstick
:-{~	has read too many of the toilet paper articles previous to lunch
:-|	"have an ordinary day"
:-| 8( )-	pregnant female 
:-||	angry
:-}	"Thish wine tashted pretty good"
:-}  -oo-:	taking matters into hand 
:-~)	has a cold
:/)	not funny
:/7)	Cyrano de Bergerac
:/i	no smoking
:3-<	dog
:8)	pig
::-)	wears glasses
:<	midget unsmiley
:<()	African tribesman
:<)	from an Ivy League School
:<)=	for those with beards too
:<=	walrus
:<|	attends an Ivy League school
:= |	Baboon
:=)	has two noses
:=8)	baboon
:>	hmm, let me think...
:>)	big nose
:?)	philosopher
:@	what?
:@)	pig
:C	what?
:D	laughter
:I	Hmmm, not funny!
:O	yelling
:Q	what?
:Q)	John Q. Public
:Ui	smoking
:Uj	smoking (and smiling)
:V	woodpecker
:V)	woodpecker
:X)	hearing no evil
:[	real downer
:]	Gleep...a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
:^(	has had his nose put out of joint; useful for replying to flames
:^)	3/4 view of person with elf-type sharp nose 
:^D	"Great! I like it!"
:^{	for those with moustaches
:^{)>	moustache and beard
:_)	nose sliding off face
:c)	big nose variant 
:c<	big nose variant 
:n)	funny-looking right nose
:q	vi user saying, "How do I get out of this damn emacs editor?" 
:u)	funny-looking left nose
:v)	left-pointing broken nose
:{	oh boy, the headmaster!...
:}	What should we call these? (what?)
:~(	nose put out of joint
:~)	Peter Ubberoth
:~-(	crying
:~-)	so happy, s/he is crying
:~/	really mixed up
;(	crying
;-(	'that makes me so mad that if I ever see you I'll punch your lights out'
;-)	a practical joker who played one too many and got beat up
;-)  ===8	circumcised 
;-)  o===8	braggart 
;-D	a friendly, winking, laughing smile 
;-\	Popeye beaten up
;-|	beaten up but silent
;-}	leer? (terminal dependent)
;^?	punched out
<&&>	message concerning rubber chickens
<*:oDX	clown with bowtie and dunce
<:-(	disappointed
<:-)	Vietnamese peasant
<:-)<<|	in a space rocket
<:-I	dunce
<:-O	Eeek!
<:>==	a turkey emoticon
<:I	dunce
<<<<(:-)	hat salesman
<=	for messages about housing in the Snow Belt 
<I==I)	on four wheels
<{:-)}	in a bottle
<|-(	Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
<|-(=	Chinese and doesn't like this article
<|-)	Chinese
<|-)=	Chinese
=)	variation on a theme...
=):-)	Uncle Sam
=.'v	(profile) has mohawk
=0==	Mexican on a railroad!
=:-#}	punk rocker with a mustache
=:-(	punk rocker (real punk rockers don't smile)
=:-)	hosehead
=:-H	football player
==#==	railroad crossings 
===:
=====:}	snake
=t==	Mexican run over by train
=|:-)	Abe Lincoln
=|:-)=	Abe Lincoln
>-	female
>-<	absolutely livid!!
>->	china man
>-^);>	fish
>:)	a little devil
>:*)	Bozo the Clown
>:-(	mad, annoyed
>:-( 8  *>-	for disparaging opinions on feminists 
>:-)	devil 
>:-<	mad
>:->	devilish
>:-I	net.startrek
>:-b	left-pointing tongue smiley
>:^(	headhunter (Amazon style)
>;-)	devilish wink 
>;->	winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
>< ><	about/to someone wearing argyle socks
>>-O->	General Custer
>>>>>:============	an asparagus 
>[I	Television
>w	nose-thumbing gesture 
>|(	Robocop: "Thank you for your co-operation." 
>|->	Chinese
?-(	about people with a black eye
@%&$%&	You know what that means...
@%&$%&$\&*@%$#@	you know what that means...
@-(	"Ulysses!  Bring me Ulysses!" 
@-)	Cyclops
@.'v	(profile) has curly hair
@:-)	Indian (East)
@:I	turban
@=	flame about nuclear war, power or weapons follows (mushroom cloud) 
@>--->----	a rose
@O=E<=	woman in skirt wearing turtleneck sweater 
@l@	too many hours at terminal
B)	frog wearing sunglasses
B-(8	Sir Robin Day (a British BBC TV presenter, famed for his grumpy countenance, and who wears glasses and a bow tie)
B-)	"Let's do the beach, man!" 
B-)-[<	sunglasses and swimming trunk
B-D	"Serves you right, dummy!!"
B-|	cheap sunglasses
B:-)	sunglasses on head
B^)	hornrimmed glasses
C:#	football player
C:-)	large brain capacity
C=:-)	Galloping Gourmet
C=>8*)	devilish chef with glasses and a moustache 
C=}>;*{))	mega-smiley... a drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin
C=}>;*{O)	mega-smiley... a drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin
C|:-=	Charlie Chaplin
E-:-)	ham radio operator
E-:-I	net.ham-radio
EK(	Frankenstien
Honk!  oo---oo-Bo	semi-truck moving right 
K:P	a little kid with a propeller beanie
L:-)	just graduated
M-)	sees no evil
M-),:X),:-M	sees no evil, hears no evil, speaks no evil
M:-)	saluting
O 8-)	the angelic halo look 
O :-)	an angel (at heart, at least)
O |-)	net.religion
O+	appropriate for women's messages, surely? 
O-&-<	doing nothing
O-(==<	chastised and/or chagrined, or is merely asleep.
O-)	Megaton Man, on patrol! 
O-G-<	pointing to self
O-S-<	in a hurry
O-Z-<	in a big hurry
O:-)	acting very innocent (halo)
O>-<|=	of interest to women
OO	headlights on msg
P-)	Colonel Klink (Hogan's Heroes)
Q:-)	new graduate
R-)	broken glasses
X-(	just died
[8-{)	bearded smiley with glasses and headphones 
[:-)	listening to walkman
[=	for messages about housing in Arizona 
\/\/\/\,8-O	really should fix frayed line cord on terminal
\:-)	french hat
\:^)	gumby smiley
\o/	PTL (praise the lord, or pass the loot?)
]:-)	The Devil
]:->	The Devil
^(^	happy variation
^)^  ^(^	two people talking
^L^	happy
^v^v^	mountains 
_:^)	American Indian
_\\//	Vulcan salute
__.	properly chastised and/or chagrined, or is merely asleep
__/~`-'~\_/	line of thought isn't quite a line
__Q~`__	cat
`:-)	shaved his right eyebrow off this morning
d :-o	hats off to your great idea
d.'v	(profile) wearing hard hat
d8=	Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat
d:-)	baseball player
g-)	wearing pince-nez glasses
i-=<*** __.	CAUTION: has flame thrower and uses it!
i-=<****** o-(==<	CAUTION: has flame thrower and uses it!
i-=<***i	CAUTION: has flame thrower
o-)	Cyclops
o-<:-{{{	santa 
o/	raised hand
o=	a burning candle (for flames)
o>-<|=	of interest only to women
o>8<|=	messages about interesting women
oF-oo---oo	semi-truck moving left 
oo	somebody's head-lights are on
oo-	puzzled, confused
ouch... O>--<	dead driver/passenger on pavement 
pp#	cow
pq`#'	bull
q:-)	wearing baseball cap backwards
{	Alfred Hitchcock
{        :-)	Marge Simpson (Homer's wife) 
{(:-)	wearing toupee
{0-)	Cyclops
{:-)	hair parted in the middle
{:-{)}	new hair style, mustache and beard
{:\/	sounds like a duck
{:^=(	Adolph Hitler
{=	for messages about housing 
{{-}}}	refugee from the '60's
{}	'no comment'
|	for bike fleet messages 
|)	salamander
|-(	asleep with nightmares 
|-)	Chinese
|-<>	kissy face
|-D	ho ho
|-I	sleeping
|-O	birth
|-P	reaction to unusually ugly C code 
|-{	"Good Grief!"  (Charlie Brown?)
|:-)	heavy eyebrows
|:-O	(no explanation given)
|:-|	excessively rigid
|:['	Groucho Marx
|I	asleep
|^o	snoring
||	for messages about cars or other four-wheeled vehicles 
||*(	handshake offered
||*)	handshake accepted
|~(	"Someone just busted my nose".
}(:-(	wearing toupee in wind
}:-(	bull headed
}:-)	hair parted in the middle in an updraft
}:-<	cat
}:^#})	mega-smiley: updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin
}:~#})	mega-smiley: updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin
}}\/=oo---oo  Crash!	semi-truck after collision 
~ :-(	particularly angry
~'v	(profile) has long bangs
~:-(	net.flame
~=	a candle, to annotate flaming messages
~==	flame follows (picture of a lit match or candle) 
~M`'~	camel
~~:-(	net.flame
~~\8-O	needs to fix frayed cord on terminal
~~~\8-O	zapped by frayed cord on terminal
~~~c___	beach 
~~~~8}	snake
~~~~~8}	snake