==================================================================== I really tried to put this in some kind of order, then decided to hell with it. I think this stuff has something to do with Ross, but I'm not sure. --- 10 June 1998: I wrote the above some time in 1996. I've added an update immediately below. It's been two years, but it doesn't mean Ross hasn't posted witty or funny posts in alt.stupidity during that time. It means that I not only need to dig though my archives and update this section, but I also did a ROTFLOL at the following. (Older stuff follows it.) ===================================================================== Subject: Re: Goats! From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Date: 10 Jun 1998 18:22:13 GMT Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : In article <6lkch4$q1t@huitzilo.tezcat.com>, : jlodder@huitzilo.tezcat.com (John Lodder) writes: : >In article <6ljm2q$421$3@news.uit.no>, : >Per Harald Myrvang wrote: : >>Lo! and Behold, for BillDing42 (billding42@aol.com) wrote: : >># Where's a pie when you need one? : >>Usually in my oven. : >>\Per, or was it someone's stomach? : > : >Wow. I missed the whole Pie part of Wriggo. That's what I : >get for never getting off the ledge. : Step forward with right foot and lean around rock overhang. Step backward with right foot. Step forward with right foot and lean around rock overhang. Shake it all about. Ross--who wonders what it's all about. ===================================================================== Subject: Re: Tongue Warts Date: 13 May 1995 17:04:46 GMT Organization: Nick Bottom's Weaves-in-an-Hour Sender: nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu@vaxsar.vassar.edu In article <3p02m8$6c5@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Keylime (gmoriart@grieg.helios.nd.edu) wrote: > : I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THAT DAMN PINK BUNNY JUST KEEPS > : GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING > > : WHY WON'T HE STOP? WHY CAN'T HE SHUTUP FOR JUST ONE SECOND? > > Oh, sure, like Darth Vader couldn't do it, but you can. My money's on the > bunny, any takers? > > Ross--who, if he were Flapjack, would be quoting from Guys and Dolls right > here! > > (entering Roger Weisman mode--Hi Spatch!) Actually in the original Damon Runyon story there was a character called "Cottontail" O'Connell, but he was cut out for Broadway. He used to jump up and down on Nicely Nicely's bely and pelt Lt. Brannigan with vegetables. flapjack-who wonders what's playing at the Roxy ============================================================== Bruce Wayne suffered a childhood trauma. So did Captain whatisname... ============================================================== From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Liver Spots Date: 19 May 1995 19:43:22 GMT Organization: The strangest place In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >Flapjack (nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu) wrote: >: In article <3ou4t4$7ie@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >: Now Ross, when I invited you here from alt.tv.muppets you promised to >: behave. There is a right way and a wrong way to respond to someone who >: posts something that he or she stole. Using obscenity and two >: different spellings of "plagiarism" is the wrong way. Now, what's the >: right way? > >Sorry, Flappy (can I call you Flappy), and sorry to all you original authoring >"alt.stupidians" out there. How many spellings of plagiarism should I use? Ehhh...42. >Sorry, publishing wrongs really get me. As a young lad I witnessed my aunt >crushed by a run-on sentence--I guess it kinda hit me hard. What? I thought you said that it was your aunt who was hit! >: Right, let's go T.P. his house! > >Who wrote that? I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, can't prove anything. >: flapjack-who hope the original poster wasn't Keylime in disguise, >: naaaaah > >I expect more out of Keylime. When I (mistakenly) squeezed Keylime at a party not much came out. Mostly just: "Urgh...argh...leggo..." >Ross--who recently wrote this great new play, "The Tragedy of Hamlet" Oh. Is it anything like that play about that Danish guy where everyone dies in the end? /^JN - The Anti JN - In that case, I haven't seen it. -- #### Anti! ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ ================================================= John Lennon -- a three-line followup -- jeez :-) ================================================= From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: John Lennon on cheez Date: 25 May 1995 21:31:07 GMT Organization: Boston University Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : "alt.stupidity" : Ah, look at all the stoopid people : Ah, look at all the stoopid people : Alt.stupidity, somewhere between Kibology and something else : but : Who's to say what? : Cabbage and Legba, Spatch, Flapjack, Nafziger, Ross and : Jeffzilla : Worship Bob Vila : All the stoopid people, where do they all come from? : All the stoopid people... oh, do they even know? : Magnus and Whitegoat, Keylime and (l)Laura and all of Bill : Wilkinson's clones : Eat ice-cream cones : Along comes Jesper, with Ray Crossdale; Bruce and Sandy : follow behind : Where do we hide? : All the stoopid people, where do they all come from? : All the stoopid people... oh, do they even know? : Ah, look at all the stoopid people : Ah, look at all the stoopid people : Poor little Tortess, died in the 'froup while of the : mourners siezed : Crackers and cheese : And please don't reply to bitch if I didn't use your name : Just sing the refrain : All the stoopid people, where do they all come from? : All the stoopid people... oh, do they even know? And bacon. Well, someone had to do it. Ross--who wonders if we can reply to thank for having our name used? ==================================================================== I'm not sure if Ross really fell for this obvious troll... ==================================================================== From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Watts Going On Here???? Date: 3 Aug 1995 17:28:13 GMT Organization: Boston University gorfgib@mudlake (Frog Gargimel) (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : Berber Gabyfood (bdamned@nowhere.com) wrote: : :If you hold your breath and slowly count down from 100, : :the back of your head will touch the floor. : : (T.Smothers, circa 1968) : Does your nose run and your feet smell? : Oh! Oh! You're built upsidedown!!! : (A.E.Neuman, circus 1950's) : Frog--I'm a Big Ross : -- : Not my .sig! (Conan the Barbarian) Papa, woudl it be all right if I were a little paranoid? Is this part of your big frog gig? Well, at least people are citing their quotations. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. (Groucho Marx, circa sometime before he died). Ross--who's paranoid, but that's all part of being a crusader. ========================================================== Captain Who? ========================================================== From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Flapjack Pops (was: Swedish Humor) Date: 30 Oct 1995 21:35:17 GMT Organization: Boston University Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) asked: : :In article : :ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: : :> Once upon a time, a feller told me "If you want to : :> make a Swedish man laugh when he's an old man, tell : :> him a good joke when he's a young man". : :> : :> And I said, "Huh?" 'cause I din't know any Swedes. : :> : :> Now, years later I read da Net, and I wonder if that : :> guy was Finnished telling me the funny story or not. : :> : :> Of course, I also wonder who wrote the book of Love : :> and when the copyright runs out so I can reprint it real : :> cheap and make a lot of money, so I can buy all the : :> non-blue M&M's I want, too. : : Nosy, will you marry me? : After the ceremony, will you invite all of us to : the concept^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hreception? : --Bill (hoping ross won't sock me for stealing an old : smothers brothers joke) No, Bill, I won't sock you, but I'm stealing your .sig. Ross--who's getting nasty about it now. -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ]. ============================================================= God Wars ============================================================= From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: RFD The official religion of alt.stupidity. Date: 1 Jun 1995 20:58:30 GMT Organization: Boston University Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : In article <3qkprs$48i@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: : >Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : >: In article , stevech@netcom.com (Steve) : >: wrote: : > : >: >Who want's a Satan who calls himself Richard Lee anyway. He wouldn't : have : >: >a chance. Jeffzilla sounds evil tho. : > : >: Traitor! Can't you see that Jeffzilla would make a much better : Hell-Hound : >: than a Satan? Look, I'm gonna bug the shit out of y'all till you let me : be : >: Satan, so you might as well just give in now... : > : >Allright Jason that's it. You've been self-serving with this whole Satan : >thing for too long. How will you get to be Satan if you're not nice to : the : >people who can make you Satan? I now nominate Flapjack for Satan and : suspend : >the debate until he shows up to accept or reject. Hm. So there. : Who put Ross in charge??? Dammit, I wanna be SATAN!!!!!! Okay, look, I'm : holding my breath until you all let me be Satan (or at least buy me those : popsicles). Nobody put me in charge, I just noticed a situation in need of some resituting and I took a stand. After all, with Spatch and papa going after each other to be god, and what with Flapjack gone, and what with Jeffzilla hibernating somewhere in the Sea of Japan I thought that somebody ought to talk about this Satan stuff. : >Ross--I'm a Big Frog. (see?) : You're supposed to say "Ross--who's a Big Frog"... come on, Conformity, : dammit! Yeah, well "I'm a Big Frog" is more of a catch phrase. Sort of like "whatchyou talkin'bout, Willis" and "I feel your pain" : >P.S. I think I'd rather see Jason bug us all summer than actually name him : >Satan. : Me too, but I've only got a week left... Now that makes me sad. Why can't you students buy modems or live somewhere around your schools for the summer? Jeez, this froup is going to suffer, and it will be your fault. Hey, wait. That does sound pretty evil and stuff. I vote Jason for Satan. : Jason -- who... ahfuckit Oooh, and look at the nasty language. Jason in '95. Ja-son!!! Ja-son!!! Ja-son!!! Ross--who would trade having to leave the froup if only he could have summer vacation. =========================================================================== If Ross hadn't of followed up, maybe Magnus and Anti-JN would be the only warlorders of obnoxious .sigs in alt.stupidity. =========================================================================== From: pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Coolest thread ever. (Was: WHAT IS STUPID?????????????????) Date: 2 Jun 1995 17:58:15 GMT Organization: The Garden <(Steve) says: > >Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: >: In article , >: spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >: >In article <3qfpp6$mqr@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil wrote: >: >>Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: >>: In article <3q70qj$qms$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill >: Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >: >>: >Since Magnus didn't decapitate them, I guess I'll have to >: >>: >explode their heads. >: >> >: >>: > \|/ \|/ >: >>: > -POP- -POP- >: >>: > (o /|\ o) andy.smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o /|\ o) >: >>: > -------------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-------------- >: >>: > Oo o o Oo o o >: >>: > o ( ) O o O (_) OO >: >>: > O _ >: >> >: >>: >--Bill (wow! i didn't know i could do that!) >: >> >: >> OOOOOHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHH >: >> >: >>Man that was really really cool. >: >> >: >>Ross--who thought that was really cool. >: > >: >Hey, did you think that was really cool? > >: I thought it was cool. > > >: Jason -- who did, did think that was cool. > >Well it was indeed cool. and corn. ============================================================================ sdc@teleport.com posted a Butt-Ugly ASCII Graphic of a kitten. It was a troll. Magnus Mulqvist followed up showing the same kitten with its head chopped off. (Editor's Note: Many of us on alt.stupidity like cats. It's just that those BUAGs are too tempting to resist.) ============================================================================ From: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: I can't find my kitten. Date: 4 Jan 1996 22:16:42 GMT Organization: Boston University Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <4ca1c3$323@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: : Yeah! Yeah! What he said! : _-_ ,.__..--''"'_. : ( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______ : \:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---' : _.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .' : (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-' : *MM Magnus, that's the creepiest decapitation I've ever seen on this froup! Please excuse me, I have to go climb in bed and throw the covers over my head. Ross--who's not getting his sock near that thing.